January 2010
105 posts
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOUI HATE YOU I HATE YOU I...
you knew i was afraid of fireworks. i told you i didnt want to be hit. but you did it anyways. first time was okay. but you did it over, and over again. thanks for ruining my night john. maybe next time you will realize that no, means no.
its the new year and times are changin’
im leaving my old self behind, and im going to make something of myself
bye 2009, i hate you :)
December 2009
54 posts
relax, its the ms gulf coast.
haha no. people come here, where i live, to be on vacation, away from the real world. this place that people call a nice little vacation spot, is a hell hole.
and into the darkness i proceed.
me: hey mom can i get my hair highlighted with my money?
mom: no you need to save babysitting money for that.
me: wtf is still my money.
you make no sense woman
you see, its like this.
today will be my first good day in a couple of weeks. and seeing my future husbands will put a glowing smile upon my face. and if they dont let me take a picture with them i am going to throw a bitch fit. you see, its like that saints players :)
you are a new kind of pathetic,
get over yourself.
Hey you,
thanks for making my day grandpa, and welcome home :)
in a dream world.
it hurts to hear you say it. and it hurts to say it myself. tears roll down my face, but times are changing. and you just dont want me around. sometimes i just want to hear someone say that they will be there for me, but thats just to much to ask for. you dont like me, but hearing you say that you hate me. i asked you not to walk away. but you did. so now something good better happen. because its...
here we go again.
you managed to do this for the last time. you think im working behind your back and im not. i have brought it up plenty of time and you just blocked it out. you told me i was selfish, inconsiderate, and delusional. okay thats fine, just let me go. you dont like me, you dont want me around, and you bring me down. why do you i need to be here if i come home from school and just consistantly get...
“Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we...”
– Abraham Lincoln
dear: nothingbutaconcept
nothingbutaconcept:
up-in-smoke:
i like your posts.
and
i can relate.
thanks
hey, thanks it’s cool to know you’re not alone, ‘ya know?
yes, it is! :)
five more months
and i will be back where i belong.
mhmm.
i want to feel important, loved, and wanted. is that to much to ask for? apparently.
i wish everyone would just shut the hell up for ten minutes!
dear: nothingbutaconcept
i like your posts.
and
i can relate.
thanks
and i wasnt even talking about you. but im done with everyone
you know what
forget it. im done being there for people who just dont appreciate it.
is that fun?
do you make it a hobby to ruin my day? to lower my confidence? or make me feel like shit? is it fun to see me cry, then make fun of me for getting upset? you are are driving me insane. you are keeping me in this hell hole so i can be just like you. guess what mom. i will never be like you.
is it possible,
to feel nothing? people say that they just dont care, but can they really not feel the pain, and sadness? sometimes the people that say that seem to me as the ones who hurt the most. i thought it was unhealthy to keep your feelings hidden deep down under it all, but i have figured out that this is easier. because not many people want to hear about your problems.
"why don't you just open up your heart for once...
nothingbutaconcept:
whoever i hate, i don’t anymore. i need to be more open, i need to talk. i can’t sit in a room with people and never talk to them. how can i expect people to like me if all i do is sit there and stare at everyone? i’m so fucking awkward.
i want to be friends with everybody. that’s what i want.
thats the way i feel about it too.
here we go again,
and i cant live like this anymore.
alright then;
being a friend means nothing to you. i guess it never has.
within a minute.
your life can change. you can be smacked around in that short 60 seconds. its like God is testing you. when you think things cant get any worse, God proves you wrong. i always think that everything happens for a reason, but this went a little too far. i was already alone and you took the person who keeps me going away. in the hospital for christmas, and for a week after that. then when i go to be...
“when little boys whine its like saying to the kidnappers take me first.”
– Stuart
its like this.
it seems as if you are living in the same moment. you take your sweet time not caring about anything but what concerns and involves you. you call me selfish - okay excuse me for wanting a good future, and thinking about that now. your right i am selfish. but doesn’t that make everyone selfish? i dont know anymore. i dont know if im right for wanting the best for myself, you, john, charlie,...
its almost as cold as your heart.
you know what you did.
you know how it made me feel.
and what is suprising is how you can live with yourself.
you have no conciousness. and i have no love for that.
be happy with yourself, you think you are perfect.
i know im not, and i know who i want to be.
im going to be more.
this christmas.
my grandfather is in the hospital. as his clock is ticking all i can remember is the good memories, and his smiling, happy face. i love you grandpa
thats just how it goes i guess.
you can look me in the eyes and lie. how is that easy for you? how can i always tell the truth and have no problem with it? why is it that everytime you promise me something, i end up getting upset because it doesnt happen? i just dont get how you could be so cold hearted. but, i guess things just never change. so here i go, running my mouth about how strong i have been. well this time im am...
reality face it, or dont.
i told my mom earlier that we need to face reality. the business is not going to fix things over night, a loan will just put us more in debt, and telling me what i do wrong with my life is just going to make me hate you more. she told me i am always so negative, and that i never get anywhere with it. she told me that my brother is nice, yes mom, the brother that sells drugs, lies, and sleeps till...
to my best friend.
dont get angry. but its for the best. people walk in and out of our lives for the best reasons. even though we cannot see them clearly right away, it will show in the end. dont dwell on the past, even though just for saying that i am a hypocrite. im okay with that. the people from the past are what kept you going till the present, where god sends new people into your life so they can keep you...
change me? you just try.
im sick and tired of the way you treat me. im sick and tired of the way you let him treat me, i dont deserve it. i may deserve it sometimes, but no one deserves it constantly. you teat me like crap. the dogs that live with us are up on pedestals along with your pig of a husband. i couldnt love his family more, but him. no. he disgusts me. i work hard at everything i do. i do good in school, try to...
dictionary to stepparents.
stepparents- the bitch/asshole your blood relation ended up with. yeah no one likes them. seen in fairytales as the bad guy, but in real life, you wish the one in the fairytale was yours.
standing up for yourself- does not happen in this household. standing up for yourself = disrespect. they will laugh at you if you try this. tip- just go to your room for the rest of the night. (see fairness).
...
dear parents,
i think i speak for every child when i say, if you are going to promise something follow through with it. because nothing is worse than having a promise broken, giving a sibling something you asked for, or telling your daughter that you will spend the day doing things with her and you go off with your new husband to the mall. thats bullcrap. and let me tell you something, when you are old and have...
Dear Casey, you have to be my best friend in the... →
Ben: hey, hey sarah
Me: oh hey ben
Ben: um who was it you liked again
Me: uhhh, why?
Ben: oh im just wondering.
Me: well, scott fujita.
Ben: oh dear lord
the truth, yeah it hurts. doesn't it.
oh isnt it great when people are breaking you down. what is the point of it? is there anyone that can tell me one good thing that comes of talking about people behind their back, lying to peoples faces, denying someone their right to know something, saying things that you know will mess with someone, or spreading lies? does it give you a high feeling? or does it just give you a temporary...
im done.
i have been looking down„ always wondering around. its time to hold my head up high, grin and bear it, and move on. becuase spending all my time worrying about you and your problems is doing me no good. im tired of the bullcrap that you call “love”. because people say hate is a strong word, well so is love, and people just throw it around like it means nothing.
things change.
things change. people change. just when you thought you knew someone, something happens, and who you once thought you were close to stabs you in the back.
tonight, is probablly the wost of the nights i have had since the house fire. when i thought things were getting better, truthfully, they were getting worse. today on my way to school i learned something. if you decide to stand up for yourself,...
define a hero.
most declare a hero is someone who does something. some people think bob marley is a hero, because he smokes pot and writes music. truthfully, this is the lamest excuse to declare someone a hero. a hero is someone who does something selfless, and not to get something in return. to me the people in iraq getting bombed are heroes. and then there are the people close to you, the people who have been...
a friend, or a sister?
lately, i have felt like my glass is half full. there is this girl i know, she is my best friend. our memories are plentiful, happy, and hilarious. if i didnt have her i dont know what i would do. tonight, as i sat alone at my dads, i realized something, this girl is not just a friend, she is more like a sister to me. for all of my problems she has been there. not stabbing me in the back adding on...
mental confusion.
do you ever feel like you are living another life? i do. when im around the people who make me feel good about myself i am a different person. but when i leave the comfort of their friendship, and venture off into unknown territory, my pride is ripped to shreds. i feel uncomfortable and lonely. when you like someone, you cannot get them out of your mind. when i dont like someone, it feels weird...
music.
its like another world. isnt it amazing when you can compare a song to your life, thoughts, and people you know. its like someone is following you around with a little memo pad writing down what you think, say, and feel. sometimes, you can find a part of yourself you never knew.